The Effort We Have to Try Our BEST.

After I married, I finally knew that keeping my head down to the man I chose to marry in the very resistible condition, is so damn hard.  

No matter how right I am, the wife has to lower her voice when talking to her husband. 

No matter if the wife was asking for some favor, if it kinda sensitive/offensive to the husband, the husband still gave unpleasant response to the wife. 

No matter how was the blazing anger that happens inside the wife’s heart, she still has to serve her whole self to the husband. Even her husband gave no appreciation to what she did. 

Just like today.

I was just telling my husband about an article that explains about Toxoplasma, and the way to react to it.

Im aware that to certain topics, whatever the talk about it, my husband have always gave a very denial response. As if saying “yes” to my talkings feed my ego, while it’s not. 

And today, 

I was asking if my husband would clean my cat’s litter box everyday just like what I do before I married. Because we never know if my cat swallow a Toxo Bradizoit or not. And in 10 days after encounter the infected cat will release it through feses. And if so, the fresh feses has not infectious UNTIL the bradizoit do the sporulations. Hence, cat’s feses have to be rid off oftenly, everyday, BEFORE Toxo Bradizoit on the feses sporulated. 

And he answered “kalo sempet”

No “oke, tapi …” or any manner he would show his willing. 

He eventually sounds pessimistic with no hope at all. 

Him: “Inangnya aja masih ada, ngapain aku bersihin tiap hari. Kalo konsepnya kayak gitu berarti pant*t Baci juga harus dibersihin dong”

Me: “Baci bersih, kucing itu bersihin badannya sendiri. Kita juga rutin mandiin” 

Him: “ya engga, makin aja gua gamau bersihin tiap hari. Gaada gaada. Ada juga inangnya dieliminasi” 

I just couldn’t take it if one could think that s\he doesn't have to try the best no matter the circumstances. 

“Terus Baci harusnya gaada di rumah ini gitu?”

I didn’t catch what did he response but we continue and I said, “cara berfikirnya bukan gitu, apapun yang bisa dilakukan ya dilakukan. Bukan karena masih ada Bacinya terus kita ga mengusahakan apa yang harus diusahakan.”

And he kept saying about that inangnya aja masih ada. 

I was so sick about all that. And I asked Him “ngapain kamu minum Oligocare tiap hari atuh? Aneh banget sih”

Because, Oligocare is one of our ikhtiar to have child. If he thinks that cleaning our cat’s litterbox everyday isnt a necessity if the host is still exist, then I too can ask him,

“why do you medicate through Oligocare of you are the one who cleans our cat’s litter box then? You have possibility to be a host too, if so you can infect me as well”

I left our bedroom with disappointment and anger. 

But in the previous quarrel I swear to God I’ll make progress when I face the same circumstances — quarrel I mean. 

Then I came back to our bedroom with a plate full of meals, as he haven’t took lunch. 

And now, at 18.34, he bought a burger, one piece, enjoyed it with a full plate of meals I gave untouched. 

But ok, Allah knows how I feel towards it, 

and Allah knows my husband’s thoughts and feeling too. 

Let Him do the fair law.